He Married a Quadriplegic for Better or Worse

Ken Tada and Joni Eareckson of Agoura Hills, California were married 31 years ago. While any couple staying together that long in this day and age is impressive, what is simply awe-inspiring is the fact that the couple is together for better or worse, despite the fact that Jodi was a quadriplegic paralyzed from the shoulders down since age 17, long before she met Ken.

Joni Eareckson and Child with Disabilities The couple met at church, during a “boring” sermon where she was sitting behind him, and the rest, as they say, is history.

“Through a series of coincidences, we kept running into each other and it sparked interesting conversations,” Ken said. “I asked her out for a date.”

“I was nervous when I met him,” Joni added. “I had lived enough years as a single girl. I was traveling a great deal and enjoyed my freedom. No one had ever asked me out on a date.”

Quadriplegic Joni Eareckson and Husband Ken Tada on the Radio

The couple went to the movies for a first date and joke now about how half way through the date Ken had to empty urine from her leg bag behind a tree. “This part of the date had not been covered,” he joked.

“People wondered: Here is an able-bodied man and disabled woman. What is the attraction, why did they fall in love?” he said. “Those who know her know she has a beautiful heart and is beautiful on the outside. I fell in love with her.”

At the time, Ken was a teacher and a coach at a local technical school. He is now retired. Joni is a successful disability rights activist, a painter and an author of several books, including one the couple wrote together Joni & Ken: An Untold Love Story, that documents their relationship, Joni’s battle with breast cancer, and Ken’s battle with depression.

Joni Eareckson Artist

Joni became a quadriplegic at age 17 in a diving accident. Her spinal column was crushed, but from Day One of her paralysis, she didn’t give up. During her rehabilitation, she learned to type and paint with a brush between her teeth. She entered her art in local art shows and festivals, and caught the attention of Barbara Walters, who interviewed her in 1974. After that, she was asked to write a book and, as a result, launched her writing career.

“I have been blessed with so much good health and a remarkable husband and opportunity to travel that I want to pass the blessings on to the many millions of people with disabilities–more than 1 billion in the world.,” she said.

Quadriplegic Joni Eareckson and Ken Tada on Wedding Day

The couple dated for a year before he proposed. Friends worried that he might not know what he was getting into and suggested they spend a weekend away together first, but both felt that the idea would go against their religious views–the same views they consider the backbone of their marriage.

“There were a lot of unanswered questions on how this would work,” Joni said. “We wanted to rely on God and our mutual core values to see us through the tough times.”

In the beginning, it was difficult for Ken. He worked, handled all of the shopping, and managed Joni’s day-to-day care. He admits that at one point he told his wife he felt “trapped” and guilty for his feelings.

“My response was, ‘If I were you, I’d feel exactly same way,'” she said. “It’s not your fault. I will be your support and stand with you to get through this.'”

“He was not the enemy, the wheelchair was not the enemy,” she said. “The enemy was bigger than that and we were not going to start consuming each other with anger.”

Joni and Ken Tada at Breakfast

The couple sought outside help, and relied on their faith to pull them through the early days, as well as Ken’s battle with depression, and Joni’s three- year battle with breast cancer. The couple has only grown closer over the years, and they are an inspiration to all couples who live with the challenges that arise from disability.

If you have a similar story, what challenges have you faced during your marriage? Watch this video that shows how Ken and Joni have approached life.